Tuesday, April 30, 2013

'Splorin' the Bluespring Caves


If you’re claustrophobic, afraid of the dark, or deathly afraid of your own echo – this is not the thing for you.
For everyone else – we goin’ spelunking! Everyone else? Buj, you’re the only one here. And what’s spelunking? It’s another word for ‘caving.’ And you’re here. But I’m you. So are you talkin’ to yourself? I definitely am.
Now, let’s ‘splore.



Bluespring Caverns is a great place to get your spelunkage on, located 2 hours away from Indianapolis and Louisville, Kentucky. You get the rare opportunity to explore the world 130 ft beneath your stinky feet. It feels like the Goonies meets Pirates of the Caribbean meets Indiana Jones meets White Chicks.*

I’m on a boat motherf*cka heading into darkness, engulfed by the unknown. It’s definitely exhilarating, but it’s also surprisingly peaceful. The boat’s motor is dead silent allowing for echoes of dripping water & T-Pain to resonate throughout the cave as rippling wave reflections dance on the limestone walls. Motherf*cka f*cka f*cka cka.

Were there trolls? Maybe. Well, did you see any? I didn't, but that doesn't mean they aren't there…

I did spot some bats, fish, and crawdaddies. Our guide (bless her sweet lil’ southern soul – she was such a doll, but I don’t remember her name – so I’ll fondly refer to her as Jimmie Pearl) was great about pointing out funny named rock formations, “peanut butta mud,” and how the cave came to be the way it is. Jimmie Pearl was dropping knowledge left and right – all splashin’ everybody – which was great, because where else is a city girl like me going to pick this stuff up?

Wanna go spelunking or just have an excuse to say that word? There are dozens of caves to explore throughout the U.S. Spelunk away! http://www.cavern.com/directory.aspx


* Other than the facts that I am white and a chick, this has absolutely nothing to do with White Chicks. Don’t you own that movie? Shut up.