Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Dining in the Dark

“A strawberry! That was a strawberry! Omgawd, Nick! Did you taste that strawberry?! 
I love strawberries. I’m so surprised there was one in there. Wasn’t that awesome?” 
I don't normally get this excited about strawberries. But when dining in absolute complete blackness, you’re ecstatic when the food on your fork even makes it to your mouth. You can’t see your plate, your date, your hand - you can’t tell if your eyes are open or closed. Besides sight, every sense is intensified x1000. You’ve never been more observant.

As if entering a haunted house, I reach out for Nick’s shoulders as he holds onto our vision-impaired waitress, Beatrice. Along with the rest of the wait staff here, she is legally blind. She guides us from the V Lounge bar, behind a black curtain, down a little hallway, into a pitch-black dining room with stale, warm air. I can tell the space is small because the conversations bounce off the walls. Beatrice guides us to our chairs as our eyes try to adjust to the blackness. Can’t help but think of an old country song by Deana Carter, “Did I Shave My Legs For This?”

The salad course is first. It is the most frustrating and difficult part of the meal. The lettuce doesn’t stay on the fork because he knows I can’t reprimand him. Half ends up on the table amongst the rose petals, a quarter in my lap, and a quarter makes it to my stomach. Barbaric, animal-style face-to-plate gestures come out because no one can see me and I’m hungry, dammit! Once I think I’m finished, my hands feel the table in search of wine. 
I take a sip. Water.

My salad plate - Before & After

Beatrice places a “chef’s surprise” in the middle of the table. Nick and I each cautiously drink it from little shot glasses. We discuss. Potato soup! Beatrice congratulates us for getting it right. The whole night is one big experiment & guessing game that I hope isn’t being videotaped with night-vision. Though, if it is - gold. There’d be men with their eyes closed and soup on their chin and smiling women with spinach in their teeth, hunched over with their legs open. Your guard is completely down in the dark. During the course of the meal, one man at a nearby table begins to sing "When I Fall In Love." Out of the blue. At first it’s a watery attempt, but as more and more people stop talking to listen he gains confidence. Eventually, he has the entire room’s attention and is belting at the top of his lungs. The impromptu serenade is followed by a thunderous applause. And at most restaurants, the wait staff is the only one singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ But here, every table enthusiastically joins in 3 times.

My main course is roasted herb chicken, sticky rice, and steamed vegetables. Smells herb-y and chicken-y. Luckily, the meat is already cut up. *High five* (Wait, try that again. Yes!) There’s a sense of accomplishment after every bite. I can’t help but think how hard this would be to do every moment of every day as all of the wait staff here must. My eyes hurt from searching for light, focusing in and out like a camera lens, and I'm so grateful that my vision will be restored moments after I walk out of here.

I hit plate, a lot. So I think it’s clean, but I have no idea how much I consumed. It may have been a chicken nugget or an entire bird. "OWWW!" While looking for his throat, Nick hit his beer hard against his teeth. We just have to make it through desert. 

After repeatedly gushing over how good the chocolate lava cake is (arguably the best part of the meal), Beatrice escorts us out of obscurity. We stumble through the curtain with full bellies, a stained shirt, possibly a chipped tooth and a newfound appreciation. Now, let there be light.

Hanging out in V Lounge before dinner

Know this before the lights go out:

1. Reservations usually fill up 2 weeks in advance.

2. Ordering the meal takes place before entering the darkroom. Here's the menu. 

3. Dining in the Dark doesn’t supply bibs. Take it from Nick’s dress shirt, bring your own!

4. It’s photo darkroom dark. If struggling to put film in the canisters frustrates you - be prepared & patient. The experience is worth it.

5. Stick around V Lounge after dinner; it turns into a club at night. It’s a great place for a group thing because there’s no cover. I had my birthday here a few years ago, super fun. This night, we tore it up to a live 80’s band. 

One more,  Nick. I think your eyes are closed.